One of my colleague came to wish me well just before I left my office. She heard that I will be leaving and there she was telling me to take care and holding my hand with both her hands.
For the past couple of weeks, it has been farewell high teas, dinners, people asking about my future plans and when I will leave this place.. Since July, it has been a heck of a roller coaster ride... Both emotionally and physically. I found myself juggling alot more things on my own, keeping my own emotions in check and keeping in mind that I have to function normally at work despite it all.
Since July, I was aware that the reality of me leaving this place became a reality. The possibility of me living in another country for a while, not working for a while became real. I was so excited! I was cautiously reminded though that uprooting myself is not as easy as I thought.. it is a big challenge... I heeded the advice half heartedly. I was thinking, if not now, then when? Even if I were to suffer in foreign land, at least I know I have done it.
As the day draws closer, I became more aware of my heavy heart. It is weighing me down more than I thought. I often thought that we never seem to spend enough time knowing each other while we have the time together... and we feel the sense of regret when it is time to part. The difference in this situation is that I am the one leaving. I am fully aware that when I return things will be different. People would have moved on, circumstances will change, feelings will be different. Sigh. I would know isn't it? Things change even when you are in the same physical time and space with the people.. even then, feelings will change.
I have grown attached to my home and the people around me... and yes I think it is time to move... I have gathered enough moss on me... if not now, then when?
