Dreams

Do you dream? Well I was told we dream every night.... it is just a matter of whether we remember them that's all.

There is one dream that I often had... I was in a middle of a sea... not on a boat... but simply floating in the middle of the sea... The sea was relatively calm but I was too tired to swim... I could see an oil rig structure in some distance away (???) and I could see people standing on it..... I remembered feeling fear and anxiety... yet I didn't shout for help or attempt to swim towards it......

The dream will always end in that mood... and I felt more perplexed and confused...

Was it supposed to mean something? I wonder what can be in my subconscious that would lead me to piece those funny pieces together... the wonder of it all....

Walking Together

Some nights ago, I was on my home and I happened to walk with this person next to me. For some reasons we were walking at the same pace, same speed and same path for a good 100m. Technically speaking, we are neighbours, but he is very much a stranger to me as I am to him. It strike me then that how rare it is to be walking with a stranger and at the same pace.

Five years ago, a guy friend once asked me about what I perceived marriage to be. I vividly remember that it was during one of those times when we had coffee together. I recalled saying that it is like 2 people walking their lives together.. not behind one another nor in front but side by side. His thoughts then were that it is almost impossible to find someone who can walk the same pace as you... walk in the same direction... Of course ideally you may find someone who is just like that... but if not does that mean that marriage is then beyond alot of us?

Not true I guess. This is where I thought if you can find someone who is willing to walk with you... slowing down when you are tired and you do likewise for him / her... sharing common destination or even willing to compromise (on both sides)... then I guess this marriage will last. How often we see dating couples holding hands walking together.... After tying the knot how many couples continued to do that? It was never easy to find someone who walked your life with you... It is often that the person is behind or in front of you... so if we do find one.... will we remember to hold his / her hand and continue to walk our lives together?

Mid Life Crisis

Met up with my good friend for dinner last night and we talked endlessly about our lives and work and stuff that overwhelms us these days... It is amazing that despite our differences in our jobs and personalities, we seem to be facing similar situations. We seem to have reached our saturation point... or we are unable to see what's ahead anymore... It was extremely funny when she mentioned that we sounded like as though we are having our mid-life crisis.... Mid Life Crisis??? Are we at our mid life already? gosh... where did all those years go?
We have no intentions to pursue the luxurious things in life... not even yearning for them... but we both shared the same emptiness we inside.... the need to enrich the soul.. to be overwhelmed by things that really matter... that would have made that difference in life... or even the luxury to enjoy the simple things in life...
Would it ever be possible? If we continue to go with the flow I can't imagine what my later life will be like... perhaps I won't be thinking anymore.