Some time ago, I decided to end my marriage and start over.
All I want to do is to correct the wrongs and give myself a new breath of life. Yet I wonder why I am explaining and justifying my decision when I am going to be misunderstood anyway.
I tried my best in this marriage. At least I think I tried to whatever means I can. And when some things turn bad, it's like eating a spoilt oyster, the taste stays in your mouth for a long time. It reached a point when I called it quits because it is no longer what I want.
I have been called heartless..
Been told I am not being fair...
Been told that I will have to bear with the consequences...
Been told it is really just a trivial thing that I am facing.. Everyone faces it in their lives and they stay married...
Been told that that's how it is like...
Been told that now I am only thinking about myself... It's ME ME ME...
Been told that since I am still crying, I haven't accepted my decision...
Been told I CAN and should give my husband another chance...
BUT did they tell my husband before...
That when I was alone and helpless trying to deal with the situation to think about me?
That it wasn't fair that he didn't listen and paid attention to my needs?
That it has always been about him?
That he too will have to deal with the consequences when I am being "forced" in a corner?
That he should perhaps take up the chances I gave and not beg for one when I stopped giving?
That today I am still crying because it's still about him and no one thought about me?
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It is times that this that I remember the experiment where 10 men were asked to pick out the shortest stick in the room and nine of them picked the longest. The 10th man, followed suit because he thought the 9 men mustn't be wrong, it is he who must be mad...
I feel so like the 10th man now...
