Men... and Women

I met up with some friends over dinner on Sunday. They were my school friends and we probably meet up like once a year or so. In the midst of our casual conversation, we came to this old but never conclusive topic about Singapore men and women.

Three of my guy friends are not married and currently not seeing anyone. It all started when one mentioned about marrying Vietnamese wives. I don't know... and probably haven't fully understood the rationale but, I was apprehensive about this growing trend and wonder if men have conveniently used this as an easier option. Two of them argued that it is not easy meeting women who share similar values and interests and Singaporean women are too aggressive. So if they were to marry the Vietnamese counterparts who are probably more docile and traditional in their values and beliefs, they (men) will be better off.

Is this taking an easy way out? Do our male counterparts look for women who are (and will be) dependent on them, will not challenge their ways and will help them to take care of their homes? Are Singaporean women too domineering and independent in our ways and to put it simply, frightening our men? I refused to believe that all women are like that. In fact, I think there are still many who are very traditional in their thoughts and beliefs. I have friends like that. So, of course, I wanted to offer to help and I asked them about what they would like their prospective mates to be. I was told that above 30 will be too old, they prefer someone say at least 3 years younger. Hmmm....

I wonder if the men in their 30s are seeking women in their 20s, then what will happen to our women in their 30s? As one of them said, they have reached their expiry dates. OUCH! How cruel.

Age is just a number. It takes more than a number for us to get along and what more to live with each other. Forget about the possibility that along with age, we are more confidence, more financially independent, and have better self awareness... .these are not good enough strengths, in fact they may pose as threats to men.

I am disturbed. Disturbed about the mental models that our local men have on our local women.... As society and the world evolved, we, as human beings, must evolved. But if our confidence, our ability to speak our minds and possibly challenge any thoughts and views posed, are going to be seen as aggressive and domineering and hence of lesser beauty than our counterparts from other countries, then is it better that we have lesser education and lower job prospects?

Of course, these are extreme cases and there are so many amongst us who are happily married and do not share the same opinions. And so, we mustn't focus on a few and thus condemn the rest. Afterall, they are only a handful.... just like possibly there are only a handful of aggressive women :)