Some Thoughts

It has been a long while since I last wrote in this blog. It has been on my mind these days... the thought that I haven't logged into my blog... and that I should get down to pen my thoughts have been nagging me.

Today is such a night. I couldn't sleep (again) and all I can think of is what I could write into my blog and perhaps I should get out of my comfortable bed and start typing. I don't really know what to say really. There is some anxiety in me. Some feeling of unrest... the feeling that I should have done some things and I haven't got down to doing. Paranoia... plenty of it I'm afraid... perhaps subconsciously, there is some stress that I am either not aware of or denying it.

Anyhow, Christmas and the New Year is coming... I have always liked Christmas.. it is the New Year that I am not looking forward to. I guess it has to do with the fact that school term begins after the New Year. I guess for almost all my life I have hardly been ready for school at the beginning of the year. When I was a student, there is always homework to be completed, as a working adult, there's work to be completed. I don't remember having New Year to be stress free. Got to break that cycle. I shall work on it. I will enjoy my New Year this time round... Stress free :D

"Spring" Cleaning

It took me two days to finally clear the pile of mess on my table... Kind of like "Spring Cleaning" though spring isn't exactly round the corner. I just felt that I needed to clear my thoughts and space and I haven't been productive working in that environment.. So I sat at my place and started clearing.

I am quite please with all the work really. It is finally clean and I am going to get my space to think and perhaps work a little more efficiently as the end of the year approaches :)

Taking a moment

I am under tremendous amount of stress. I feel the tension in my head, how quickly my temper flew. I need to take a quiet moment. Can't talk to people.. definitely cannot talk to pupils too.

A group of girls came specially to school to help me out today and yet their endless chattering nearly drove me up the wall... I should be appreciative and be able to express my gratitude for their assistance... yet my thanks didn't seem enough.. more like it didn't come out convincingly. Really need to take a quiet moment to recollect my thoughts... before, as one of the girls said.. my blood vessel bursts.

Sleepless again

Sleep eludes me. Every morning I wake up, resolving to sleep early in the night so that I don't have to go through the agony of dragging myself out of bed. However, when night comes, sleep is beyond me.

I know I am tired... physically... but mentally my mind is still working... going through the events in the day and worry over the things to come the next day... Of course this is uncalled for... I should quit worrying just so that the mind can rest... But how do you switch that off in your mind? Isn't it that the more you try to stop thinking about it.. the more you are thinking about it?

I am getting lesser and lesser sleep during weekdays. The duration of the sleep is getting shorter and it is often not well rested... I will be waking in the middle of the night, checking the time, or wondering what a weird dream I had.

After writing this I am going to try to sleep again... and I hope this time I will be able to slip into slumberland.