It has been a while since I have been reflecting. The rapid changes in circumstances and environment have allowed little time to think much less to reflect the impact of certain events. It need not necessarily be a bad thing. Afterall, wasn't it most often that we stopped at only thinking and rarely proceed from there? Perhaps we think too much and little action results from the intensed thinking and worrying.
These days, my nights are filled with emptiness. I feel exhausted and the major part of me doesn't want to meet anyone nor talk to anybody. I am beginning to enjoy this "emptiness" and silence. I guess no matter how exciting we constantly seek our lives to be, there would be times when one needs to spend time with self.
Someone ever commented that I like to plan such times on a regular basis. To the extent that it seemed that I am actually more a loner than a social being. Perhaps deep down, I am a loner. Perhaps in some ways, I do enjoy doing things on my own. Perhaps I am tired of being with people all the time.
I hate conflicts, I hate managing them. But when we are with people, conflicts are inevitable. In that sense, it can be so tiring... and draining. Yet... there seems to be no way out of this.
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