Expections

Expectations - the act of expecting something to occur. In our lives, we have expectations for almost everything... even when we turn the tap, we expect clean water to flow from it. Should it not happen according to our expectation, we will probably be angry, disappointed... etc.

We often associate expectations to be good. For instance, we say we have certain expectations towards our children and children usually more often than not, will live up to our expectations. So there are some schools of thoughts that encourage having high expectations for our children and in many things we do.

What about relationships? Do we also practise that? Imagine a situation when a woman expects her boyfriend (there's a reason why it has to be a boyfriend and not husband) to give her a bouquet of roses on Valentine's Day. She is not going to say anything to him, but she expects him to read her mind and do accordingly. What if he doesn't? Would she be disappointed? Would it lead her to certain conclusions? Suppose that it is not just once, but there were many times when he didn't live up to her expectations. What would be the outcome?

I tend to think that expectations are our very own mental models. We have certain ideas about how some things should be done and how some things / people should look like. They need not be right and they definitely need not be congruent to reality. As much as we would like it to be, there will be times when we simply have the wrong expectations. It is thus important that we are aware of that and manage our own feelings accordingly. I believe that communication is crucial and we should talk about our own expectations and feelings.... and be ready to accept that there are different ways to look at things.

Relationships shouldn't be ruin by expectations, especially those that are beyond reality.