Those words "don't set out to do something just to prove that it can be done" haunted me last night. So much so that I was still thinking about it this morning.... wondering at what ends am I getting myself into... what had been my motivation to push through the programme so hard when the odds are so great?
Perhaps it has been the every ounce of stubbornness in me that refuses to give up. I didn't want to let it go unless I was truly facing a dead end... foolhardy.. perhaps.. wasting my time... could be too... young and naive.. ha!! I would like to still like to have a little of that...but seriously, am I trying to show that I can do better than the other? Is this a side of aggression that is in me that I have not been willing to see?
All I knew what that, if I don't do my best in pulling this programme through.. making it happen... I am going to disappoint the 30 odd participants who have been looking forward to it... I am going to again disappoint the few who had also done their best to give the support and making sure that it will run smoothly.... Can I disappoint them again.. just so that I will have an easier time this week... just so that I won't be writing emails at 1 am.. frantically searching for a caterer? Then the motivation to prove that to someone must be definitely extremely great...
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