The Haunting of the Past

A friend asked this question "what would you do if your ex comes pestering you and you are already seeing someone else?" A question that has obviously been on his mind lately... and has prompted me to think and write a little more about it.

Chinese has this saying "好马不吃回头草"... loosely translated to be "a good horse doesn't turn back to eat the grass that it had passed"...Do we really want to turn back to recapture "things" that we had given up at some point of our lives? In a situation when one is forced to give up or is left with little choice but to move on, given an opportunity, does one really want to return to the former state of affair?

There is a very fine line between love and power... similarly between love and obsession. Often our emotions may mislead us into believing one to be another. I have always wondered in situations of an Abuser with his/her Abused... why does the abused continue to remain by the side of the abuser? Is there any love in the relationship? What kind of love is it anyway? It is perhaps a case of power struggle between them. One may think that the power lies in the abuser, but to some extend the abused does share a certain level of power. Imagine a situation where the abuser begs for forgiveness from the abused... promising never to be violent again, swearing how much he/she loves the victim, how life can be meaningless without his/her existence.. etc... The ability to say "I forgive you and I will give you another chance" is a demonstration of power.

The question of the ex sometimes is a question of power. Can you imagine when your ex comes back to say that you have been THE ONE all a long... what a booster of one's ego that will be... Perhaps some may have played this in their minds over and over again... As for the ex, it can be a exercise of power too. "It is like, though we are no longer together, but I can still create a disturbance in your life... and if you don't respond... I will keep trying... My goal is not really to have you back but rather to see how much power I still have over you". Dark and scheming? How so often we thought that to be passion and love...